I'm That Grandmother!

I would like for it to go on record that I have shown tremendous restraint since I found out that Matt & Kyla were having a baby. I didn't buy anything until I found out if we were having a boy or a girl. Well, except for the Willow Tree figurine for Kyla. You know, the one where she is pregnant, but that was also to add to her collection. And that was all.

oh, and a clock for the nursery. And we gave Matt a Jeep brand baby pouch/carrier for Father's Day...okay, so I bought a few things, but just trust me when I say, I didn't get everything I thought about getting.

But I especially held off buying any generic clothes. I did find a cute little white onesie at Target that said something fun on the front in black print, but that was to frame, not to wear, so that didn't count.

Fast fwd to the day Matt called and asked what I was doing, and in fact I was at Sport's Authority getting Drew a no-sweat golf shirt. He said, "Well, while you're there, you might pick up a baseball mitt for your grandson!" A boy! Mark! Perfect! Some of my favorite people started out as baby boys!

Matt's birthday was in September, so we gave him Father/Son Tampa Bay Rays baseball t-shirts. Mark's was on sale for $3 at Marshall's. I don't think that qualifies as buying baby clothes, do you?

Last week, I was in Macy's to return some dishes. On the way to the down escalator, I walked by the baby department. They were having a sale, so I browsed the racks. "Cute, cute, cute, too girly, cute, white?!, oh! how cute, probably will get a lot of those at the shower, cute, cute."

I started to leave with my great restraint when a little old(er) grandmother tapped me on the arm and said, "Which one of these should I buy?" And there she was, holding cute, cute, and the perfect outfit for Mark! I hadn't seen that one. I quickly scanned the rack again to see if I had missed it, and it was obvious that she had the only one left.

You can imagine my moral dilemma.

"Well," I began nervously, "they're all cute. When is the baby due?"

"October." she said.

"These two would probably be more practical for winter weather," I said as I steered her away from Mark's perfect outfit.

"We don't get much winter here," she said. "This one's cute, too," she had the nerve to say while she was holding Mark's perfect outfit.

"Yes," I said as indifferently as possible. "But you know young parents these days. Go, go go! They'll probably be going north for the winter and won't you be the hero for giving them one of these other two adorable rompers!"

"Put it back! OH, PULEEZE PUT MARK'S PERFECT OUTFIT BACK ON THE THE RACK!", I screamed silently. I found myself reaching to take it out of her little old wrinkled hand.

"I guess I'll get this one," she said, referring to one of the other cute ones.

"Good choice!" I said. She turned and walked over to get her daughter's approval. When she did, I snatched Mark's perfect outfit off of the rack and ran as fast as I could to the nearest checkout, only to encounter the slowest checkout girl on the planet. Yeah, yeah, brand new terminals, whatever, just hurry up! NO! I don't want to donate any money to any diseases! I must have said that last part out loud, because she looked at me like I was evil, so I said okay.

I felt just a little bit guilty about the whole incident, so I called Matt to confess. "Am I going to be that grandmother?" I asked?

Matt was still laughing, "Man, I sure hope so!"

p.s. Since I bought Mark's perfect outfit using part of the credit I had from returning the dishes, it's not really even like I used money to buy it. So technically, I still haven't bought him any clothes. Pretty good restraint, don't you think?!