The NOCANTELOS

Yesterday afternoon I ran some errands over by Collin Creek Mall. The Learning Patch, Michael’s, Family Christian Bookstore, Hobby Lobby…Before I went back up to my classroom I wanted to check in with Drew. I reached in my purse to get my cell phone and it wasn’t in its little holder. I checked the floorboard of the Suburban, between the seats, my teacher tote bag, dumped my purse, dumped my tote bag, and then decided I had left it in one of the stores. So, I rushed back to my first stop which was closing in five minutes.

I grabbed my keys and ran in and asked the clerk if a phone had been turned in and she said no. So I asked her if I could call my number to see if I had put it down while I was shopping. Sure enough, I heard it ring. Right by the counter! I must have set it there while I was writing my check. I started moving her display around to find it. Maybe it fell on the floor. I can hear it, I just can’t find it. So I put my keys in my pocket to search with both hands and…the phone was in my pocket. For a second I thought about throwing it on the floor and exclaiming, “Here it is!” Then I figured if she was working in a teacher store the last week of school, she had seen worse.

This confirmed a medical disorder that I am certain I must have. Noise Orientation Confusion And Not Telling Exact Location Of Source. Or, in medical terms… I’ve got the NOCANTELOS. There are buttons to push on our remote phone at home. But it only beeps for about two seconds and that’s not enough time for me to get in the starting position, push the button and then run all over the house trying to find the thing before it stops beeping. I hear it. I just can’t find it. I NOCANTELO. I cringe when I hear an emergency siren in traffic. Is it behind me? Coming towards me? I don’t know whether I should pull over because I NOCANTELO!

You know that small still voice from within? I’ve heard things like, “Speak up.”, “Keep your mouth shut.”, “You should call her.” “Pray for them.” But for years, I also heard things like, “There’s no way you will be able to do that.” “You don’t deserve this. You’re not worth it.” “God is tired of hearing that request.” “He won’t forgive you for that…again.” It wasn’t a hearing problem. I was having trouble discerning the source.

It wasn’t until I started spending more time praying than I did ‘just thinking about things’ that I became able to hear His voice over Satan’s. When I actually began reading and meditating on His words instead of replaying negative mental tapes of old hell, fire and brimstone sermons, then He began to give me some perspective on what was Truth in my life. Even when He says something that I don’t especially want to hear, I know my Shepherd’s sweet voice, and I want to be near it. The Spirit is closer than a cell phone in my pocket. The closer I am to Him, the better chance I have of locating His voice.

Drew and I stayed on the Riverwalk in San Antonio for a few days. I was telling him about this article and my unfortunate medical condition. Just then we heard sirens on the street above us. “Can you tell which way they’re heading?” I asked. He immediately pointed east and the trucks soon headed that direction. I asked him how he knew that. He asked me how I didn’t.

“Alamocantelo.”