Take THIS!

I love a good road trip. Don’t even mind driving by myself every now and then. I take that opportunity to sing to my heart’s content. I sound just like the artist of the CD I’m playing!

In January, I was driving the road between Lubbock and Dallas. There were no CD’s in the car and radio reception was poor. I did happen to catch part of a Carrie Underwood song as I left Abilene, but it quickly faded.

Not to worry. I knew a couple of her songs. I decided to sing the one about her with the little baby in the car seat. She’s driving. I’m driving. Perfect choice. I couldn’t remember exactly how it started so I jumped to the chorus, “Jesus, take the wheee-eeeel. Take it from my hand. ‘Cause I can’t do this on my own. Nah nah nah nahnah....”...okay, so maybe I don’t know that one.

But! She does the one about messing up that guy’s car. Still with the auto theme. Another perfect choice. “Right now, he’s probably doing something...something something something and Shania karaoke. Right now...(ugh!) So I dug my keys into his car. (not car), I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive...” (drive and side don’t rhyme, maybe it was four wheel ride) “Carved my name into his leather seeeeeats. I took a baseball bat and beat the lights...” (that can't be right) “Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.”

That concert went nowhere fast.

Eastland was a few miles ahead, with a new WalMart, which meant clean restrooms and CD’s. So I stopped for a potty break and found the electronics department. There on the end cap was a display of new releases, and wouldn’t you know it, they had two Carrie Underwood CD’s. One was “Carrie Underwood Salutes the Grammys”. I looked on the back and “Jesus Take the Wheel” and “Right Now” were not listed. I picked up the other one. It said “A Carrie Underwood Tribute”. I checked the back and both of our greatest hits were listed, so I bought it and hit the road.

While I was at the Starbuck’s drive thru, I opened the package (grrrrrr) and popped it in. The music was a little slower than I remembered, and the intro was much longer...in fact, the entire song was instrumental. Had I bought a karaoke CD? Even better! Maybe the next trac would be of her singing the words, and then I could have my turn without her messing me up. I punched through all 18 songs...NOT ONE WORD. I pulled over and turned on the light to find the title, “A Carrie Underwood Tribute...by the Banjo Brothers. Or something like that. I bought a stinkin’ banjo CD!

I don’t hate banjos especially, but the point was to learn the words, not have “Deliverance” flashbacks. Now instead of singing “Jesus, Take the Wheel” and “Right Now!”, I’m singing, “...Take This Back to WalMart”.

RIGHT NOW!