Can we talk?
About showers.
Baby showers, 2nd baby showers, 3rd baby showers, baby showers before the wedding showers, wedding showers, 2nd wedding showers, baby showers for members’ children who do not attend RE, showers for members’ grandchildren who do not attend RE, showers (aka: ‘Senior Teas’) for girls who graduate high school...what am I leaving out?
I love a party. If you can think of a reason to honor someone you can borrow my forks or have it at my house. I’m not suggesting that we have shower police, but there are some inconsistencies and I just need to think out loud for a minute.
The Young Families class has a pretty good system. They have brunches during class for 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies. Even if you are having your 4th baby boy, diapers and hugs are always appreciated. Can I have an AMEN, Susan Thomas?
Maybe I’m still longing for the good ol’ days of the Lubbock Broadway church of Christ wedding showers. I don’t know who wrote the rules, but here’s how it went down. You registered at Dillard’s and Hemphill-Well’s. Target hadn’t hit town yet. There were no pricing guns, although Drew would have loved that. Just a fussy west Texas gal who had been in that department for 30 years and frowned if you even thought about registering for anything besides dishes, glassware, silver, linens and small kitchen appliances.
But here’s my favorite part. You had them look up the name of the bride, bought the gift, and they took care of delivering it to the hostess’ house, unwrapped! So on SATURDAY, when all showers should be held, all you had to do was get to Gladys Ellis’ house. She would be standing at the door with the bride and the mothers of the couple, while her friends took their assigned places at the food table, kitchen sink, and gift room.
The gifts were all on display, so you greeted the honoree, grabbed a plate and cup of something, and went to the gift room to oooh and ahhh over all the treasures. You could come and go anytime between 2:00 and 4:00, and get on with the rest of your day. The advantages are 1) you actually got to say hello to the bride 2) there was a better chance of getting a parking place in front of and inside the house, because we weren’t all there at once 3) you didn’t have to pay for gift wrap.
I know that isn’t practical in the metroplex. We live all over the place and delivery isn’t complimentary anymore. But my friends were sweet to let me break tradition when our boys got married. I just didn’t want Kyla and Terran sitting and opening packages for two hours and not getting to meet any of you. A few people were suspicious about why I wanted gifts to be brought unwrapped, until I explained. We loved it. Okay...enough about that.
Here’s my other concern. The hostess thing. I have had several young women/new members ask me how to get on a hostess list. So here’s how I explain it. We have unofficial shower teams. Each team wants to have a lovely party for the honoree. Each team wants to go in on a nice hostess gift. Some teams prefer to have several hostesses so the expenses can be shared. Some prefer to have several hostesses so more can be spent on the hostess gift. The problem for the rookie is knowing ahead of time which team she has joined. For some budgets, it can come as quite a shock to receive a sticky note at the end of the party saying she owes $50 or more. For others, it is just as painful to find out that their cost is much less than they would have normally contributed for a gift to their friend.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this; if you want to help with a shower and have a limit, let the house hostess know, and it will be worked out. Sometimes we have each brought food and a gift, and shared the lesser expenses. If the cost needs to be reduced, then those who feel a need to spend more can give an additional gift to the honoree. It’s pretty much determined by the hostess who is cleaning her potties for the party. And if you want to be a hostess and can't be there for the event, you can pay your part and be a ghostess!
That’s just my opinion. What do you think?
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7 comments:
In college, I worked at a gift shop, The Pineapple Shop, which happened to be the only bridal registry in small town Kingsville. So, we definitely kept busy. And, we did something very similar... except we wrapped all the gifts. A customer would come to the store, purchase the gift, fill out a small notecard & leave it with us. We would wrap all the gifts in the same white paper & tie them all with the same silver ribbons & bows. It was working here that taught me how to professionally wrap a present & how to make a beautiful bow out of ribbon. Something I don't do anymore, but should! And, on Saturday mornings, one of us would go out to deliver mounds of presents to either the hostess' home where the shower was being held or to the church where the wedding was scheduled. That's how virtually every shower & wedding was done in Kingsville... until a few years ago, when The Pineapple Shop closed down. So sad.
Glad you're blogging again! I've missed your insights. I totally think the hostesses should discuss and agree upon the budget/division of duties before-hand. Then everyone knows what to expect.
I love showers, too- whether giving or receiving (as I just did receive a warm outpouring of love and celebration for baby #3 which I think is so wonderful because every baby is a special event, and that brunch was a perfect way of honoring that.)
I enjoyed your blog and like Becky I'm glad your posting again. I just love a party! I love hospitality! People who have that special gift for making people feel welcome and included make such a difference. I love to see how people with the spiritual gift of hospitality honor their guests by creating an event that is tailor made for guest of honor and the hostess alike! From white roses to flip flops to flopping fish every time someone opens their home it helps people make connections, open their hearts and create community. When you live in the Metroplex and pass hundreds of strange faces each day it's good to know there is a place where each of us can be the guest of honor.
I too am glad you found your password so you could blog again!! I just returned from Denver where two neice's had a shower, one wedding, one baby. Both of them were hosted by their own mother's and had less than 15 people attending. Neither have a church family so I felt sorry for them, not that they did not get many presents, but that they missed out on a Christian family that would do this for them and show them love and support. I love the way we do that at R.E. but my one complaint is that we don't support all members at the same level. Some get huge showers and less known members get small showers. I don't know how to make it more equitable, but my greatest fear is that we will miss someone all together. Perhaps that should be another ministry so this doesn't happen?
You know, as Lynn says it would be awful to miss someone altogether, and I sure hope that never happens at RE. But as for some getting larger showers and some less attended showers, I just don't see how that can be avoided. To me that just makes sense. Some people are known better than others and therefore more people are going to want to show their love and support. If every member showed the same amount of support to every shower honoree, then there'd be too big a demand on everyone's time and budget. I guess I don't see how a person that is on the fringe and not very involved with anything would ever have as large attended a shower as someone that is extremely involved and has formed lots of relationships. Now maybe Lynn knows of cases where two very similar people as far as level of involvement and length of time at RE had vastly different showers one large, one small...and that would be strange indeed.
You know, there have been times when someone has had an open house or shower, funeral or wedding and we've thought it would be well attended to the point of being over crowded...and then it turns out to be a very small crowd. Like you've said, there's really no way to control that. When it happens to you, you learn to not take it personally. I always appreciate a heads up when there is a chance of low attendance for a new or fringe member at RE.
Becky, I'm planning for you to have your baby girl tomorrow!
Hi, Carolyn. Imagine that, I was looking for a baby registry and found your blog instead. We were so very pleased when the arrival of Mark William Mcbryde was announced at church. We're going to have to find a way to introduce him to Woody when he gets a little older. I'm sure he'll know all about Labradores by then. I'll put the bookmark to your blog on Sandy's machine as well as my own.
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